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Tag: Meghan DePonceau

  • Talk To Singles in Your Area, Call Now

    Talk To Singles in Your Area, Call Now

    By Meghan DePonceau

    I’ve been Footlocker married
    and loved like a dog muzzle.
    Just left wondering what brilliant thoughts
    ran through the silenced teeth that bit into it.

    I’ve been Walmart cheated on
    And loved like a losing lottery scratch off

    Once in a while, a homeless man will pick me up
    Just to check the math and drop me disappointed.

    I’ve been Applebees divorced
    and loved like the muffler fell off six miles back.

    Whenever I hear someone say “I like puzzles”
    I glare at them like they are my Rosetta stone
    and shout, “run”


    Meghan DePonceau left behind her previous careers (as both a ruthless bookie, and the only knight to pull Excalibur from the stone reenactor) to pursue hooch-slinging and giggle-making, and to take on the role as Chief of Butts at 5280Comedy.com. She hosts/produces unCORKED, a monthly comedy show first Wednesdays at Infinite Monkey Theorem. Check out her bad dick jokes on Twitter @MeghanIsAJoke.

  • 3 Poems

    3 Poems

    By Meghan DePonceau

     

    Stuffed

    I’ve loved every man who has ever been inside me
    While he was inside me.
    To be fair,
    Filling outside of the doughnut
    Filling, just sitting there, isn’t as appetizing.

     

    I Woke Up on the Floor in Cleveland

    Fully dressed
    Not one article of clothing belonged to me.
    Hungover, I panhandled the $16 for a bus ride home
    And if I never find out how I got to Cleveland that night
    I will die happy.

     

    FU#3 (Back Again)

    Getting back with your ex
    Is a lot like buying your old dress back from the Good Will
    I’ve done both,
    Twice.
    You tell yourself there might be $20 in the pocket
    Instead, you just find a dirty kleenex.

     

     

    Meghan left behind her previous careers (as both a ruthless bookie, and the only knight to pull Excalibur from the stone reenactor) to pursue hooch-slinging and giggle-making, and to take on the role as Chief of Butts at 5280Comedy.com. She hosts/produces unCORKED, a monthly comedy show first Wednesdays at Infinite Monkey Theorem. Check out her bad dick jokes on Twitter @MeghanIsAJoke