Suspect Press

Tag: Adrian H Molina

  • Collected Selfies From the Puddles

    Collected Selfies From the Puddles

    By Adrian H Molina

    I was at the edge of fall, asking again if we could withstand another icicle winter in the north,
    sitting at the foot of an empty clawfoot tub
    watching the seabirds vanish, 
    a thirty-year time-lapse,
    laughing off your ridicule 
    over my use of the bath. 

    I was swimming in a giant glowing pool
    inside our turquoise studio home,
    shallow aqua blue water
    making up 90% of floor area,
    watching curious tourists come and go
    watching my movements in the water, 
    my teleportations outside 
    picking thorn-stemmed roses by the windows,
    then back again inside playfully paddling like clockwork.
    You returned one day, preoccupied.
    I watched, stunned as you hit a switch 
    permanently tiling the floor where I had swam everyday. 

    I was in the middle of an ocean unknown, 
    overcast and hazy, floating with all the people
    looking at my compass wristwatch 
    watching a small continent drifting north,
    sending a forty foot tidal wave our way.
    I began calculating survival, 
    eyeing a distant rocky shore, 
    searching for you to escape with me.
    I emerged bloody with sea thorns stuck under my feet. 

    I was at the edge of paradise again
    talking to a marvelous blonde ghost about the seabeds, 
    the sepia plains and stone-filled mountains we left,
    overlooking the veracity of white waves
    crashing into mars black rocks,
    spiraling thoughts
    watching aqua swirls curl into shapes unfolding,
    feeling like you didn’t want to take the picture
    we were offered. 

     I woke up one day
    mixing new water colors,
    feeling the burnt orange summer dying 
    another slow beautiful demise, a waning sun 
    turning leaves into fire. 
    I started dreaming new sounds.
    I started cooking new foods.
    I started praising new gods. 
    taking new pictures of the raindrops,
    slowly collecting another ocean.

    Adrian H Molina is a wordsmith, time traveler, and shapeshifter, first cousin to jaguars and quetzals native to the “Americas.” He can be spotted in the portals of your imagination. He was recently featured at the Crestone Poetry Festival. He eats money in exchange for creative ideas. Everything is made up, and he knows his worth. Molina is creating new worlds. You can follow his writings and musings within the matrix on IG @MolinaWrites.

  • Dualistic Tendencies

    Dualistic Tendencies

    By Adrian H Molina

    Bring me chocolate and herb seeds

    and I will plant sunflowers in-between your aching poles

    where divinity transforms into monstrosity and

    back again.

    Bring me royal stargazer lilies to dissolve,

    mandarin marigolds to gnaw upon,

    ruby red roses to hang upside down—

    pretty pictures to cut up into art.

    Bring me a sad story and a black heart

    that I can alchemize into laughter, making

    cascading chains of illusive memory pains,

    silently molding fears into sand castles.

    Bring me your most guarded, treasured desires.

    I will walk your dehydrated imagination to the brinks of reality

    where the river banks are flooded daily

    with wishes from the living and the dead.

    Bring me a dream to eat,

    a wall to bend, a wound to lick,

    a scar to dissolve, a levee to breech,

    and we can lie safely together in the shadows.

    I am not a piece of your puzzle. I am

    not the fragmented collection of

    a story you are constructing. I am

    a landscape moment you can escape into.

    I cannot give you everything, you say, but I can

    offer enough of the moon to satiate you

    until it becomes blue again. Can you truly

    learn to dissolve your face?

    When you look at me, do you

    see circles of forever, or merely space

    to play with time? Will you come to claim

    your gaping hunger at its root?

    Adrian H Molina is a wordsmith, time traveler, and shapeshifter, first cousin to jaguars and quetzals native to the “Americas.” He can be spotted in the portals of your imagination. He was recently featured at the Crestone Poetry Festival. He eats money in exchange for creative ideas. Everything is made up, and he knows his worth. Molina is creating new worlds. You can follow his writings and musings within the matrix on IG @MolinaWrites.

  • Winter, An Epilogue

    Winter, An Epilogue

    By Adrian H Molina

    You will see it again, on another road, at another time, in another state of being, in another dimension. The road will look back at you, and you will remember something about it. Familiar, yet so different. You are not merely dreaming the Dream, you are living it again.

    Look squarely in the face of Death to taste your freedom. Drink the darkness of her obsidian eyes. She will allow you to taste her. Leap to get your heart broken, so you can leap again. Be ready to watch everything you love fall apart at any moment. Commit to love, knowing it will betray you once you expect too much from it. No fair warning will prepare you for your own storms. Love like the world is watching the greatest story never told. Be ready to close the book lonely in tears, without notice. You will not be alone.

    See fallacies in truth. Cultivate honesty embroidered within the black-laced lies you could only tell yourself. Then you will see others more clearly.

    Reach for the most certain conclusions, only to be reminded again and again that nothing is conclusive. Set boundaries, and be open to crossing them. Ask people to set boundaries, and know that they too, will cross them. Know when it is time to hold firm to your convictions. Follow through. There is a universe within someone who deserves your authenticity. Know that no one will ever do anything that you, yourself, wouldn’t do. Know that your mirrors will do everything you have always dreamed of doing, given the opportunity. Be aware of the doors you open. Be fair. Expect to have returned all that you emit.

    Be at peace with all that is possible. Be honest about the limitations of your beliefs. Love, and forgive loved ones who bring sledgehammers to your principles. Part ways with your own black holes. Release yourself from false acts of love.

    Submit to the truth, and stand in pain. Fall on your face. Start over. Proceed. Be content. Break down and apart. Start over. Believe in forever. Be prepared to do the same again when you die. You are merely matter, this is why you know life. This is why you fear the end, because you know the path, the beginning. It never gets easier, only more livable when you give your gifts. This is your liberation. You were born free. You will die free. There is nothing to fear. 

    So be present. Share joy with those who walk with you. You may float with them one day in vibrant fields void of gravity, or on a planet you co-populate with dreamscapes. And if they fall to the tides, fear not their forgetting. Hold only to what is true, and keep loving with the wild and unyielding force of spring. There is always                                                                                    

                                               space
                                               to remember,

                                                                                                         and Decembers
                                                                                                         for leaving—

                                                                                                         preludes

    to a life worth living.

     

    By Winter X, MO SPKX

     


    Adrian H Molina is a master of ceremonies. He is an artist, writer, poet, professor, community facilitator, and creative consultant for a better world. As a writer, he balances grit, imagination, indigenous consciousness, dreamscapes and indignation for injustice. Adrian is an honoree of the Lalo Delgado Poetry Festival. He has served as a Live Poetic Scribe for dozens of events throughout Colorado. He gives half his professional time to the next generation, including arts education work with Lighthouse Writers, Think 360 Arts and Youth on Record. He is embarking on new journeys as a lover, father, creative and dreamer. .