Suspect Press

Category: Issue #18

  • Barbie Montage 6

    Barbie Montage 6

    By Sarah Haney

     

     

    Sarah Haney is a fine art photographer based in Denver. She spent a lot of time playing with Barbie as a child, and found the doll’s perpetual smile disturbing—it ruined the sense of drama as tragedy repeatedly befell her. Remembering her childhood irritation with that fixed smirk inspired Haney’s “Welcome to the Dreamhouse” series. Her work has been displayed in numerous Denver-area galleries and featured in local and national publications. She received her BFA from the University of Colorado-Boulder.

     

  • Teenage Letters to My Future Husband

    Teenage Letters to My Future Husband

    By Amanda E.K.

    Illustration by Lonnie MF Allen

     

    In Christian college, I founded a monthly event called Single Girls Sleepovers. We’d dress up in old prom dresses and plastic costume jewelry, listen to Disney tunes, and color in coloring books while watching a romantic comedy. We were great at having “safe” fun, but the real point of these sleepovers was to spend time in discussion and prayer for our future husbands. (Assuming we were all to be married, and to men.) We’d sit in a circle and talk about our ideal guys, dissolving into giggles when describing body types. Then we’d blast “A Whole New World” and write our imaginary grooms a letter.

     We believed in God’s plan, and we were saving ourselves for the men God had already chosen for us. All we had to do was prepare our hearts for the union through prayer and contrition, and when we were finally ready, God would let us meet The One.

     We read books called When God Writes Your Love Story, The Bride Wore White, and I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I think it was one of these books, or maybe Brio Magazine (a lifestyle and entertainment mag for teen Christian girls) that sparked the husband-letter trend.

     The letters included promises to pray for this unknown boy’s purity and to remain pure for him (though you were unclear where the line was drawn for self-gratification). You let him know your interests, and how close your walk with God was. (“How’s your walk been?” you might add as a postscript.)

     The letters were never sent, but collected and saved to present to your husband on your wedding night.

     I still have all of these letters. No longer to share, but to keep a record of how I’ve changed.
     Here is the first of those letters:

    Amanda is a short fiction and freelance writer originally from Iowa. She’s a member of the Knife Brothers writing group – a small collective of short fiction writers – who can be found occasionally haunting the Victorian halls of Lighthouse Writers Workshop. You can find her work in Suspect Press, Birdy Magazine, Jersey Devil Press, and in the Punch Drunk Press Poetry anthology.
  • Pop Culture Penises

    Pop Culture Penises

    By Cori Redford

     

     

    Cori Redford was born several years ago, and still has not lost her faith in humanity. She still thinks dick jokes are funny, and dresses like a toddler. You can probably find stuff she’s done all over the internet with a quick search, and maybe you’ll want to buy one of her t-shirts or zines. She hangs out with a bunch of groovy art kids, who battle with drawings instead of guns or dance like regular gangs. She is cool.
  • Boeuf Bourgeoisie

    Boeuf Bourgeoisie

    By Melanie Gillman

     







    Melanie Gillman is a nonbinary cartoonist who makes YA comics for queer and trans readers. In the past, they’ve written for the Steven Universe comic book series, and their latest book, As the Crow Flies, was just designated a Stonewall Honor Book by the American Library Association.
  • A Brief History of Patrick Nagel

    A Brief History of Patrick Nagel

    By Lonnie MF Allen

     

     

     

    Lonnie MF Allen found his comic-art stride as a high-schooler dabbling in zines and mini-comics, eventually coming up through the ranks in the local comix scene, where he’s long been a regular among Denver’s close-knit cartooning community. An oft-published illustrator, writer and designer in addition to his niche as an award-winning cartoonist, and named one of Westword’s 100 Colorado Creatives, Allen is an organizer for the Denver Drink & Draw meet-up. His work has been published by Dark Horse, Image Comics, and he’s been nominated for an Eisner Award. Find him at lonniemfallen.com.

     

  • revelations

    revelations

    By John Reinhart

     

    I’m busy
    writing a manifesto
    for the second coming
    and, Jesus Christ,
    it’s too dramatic –
    I mean, I could do without
    all the fire and brimstone,
    the wailing and gnashing –
    let’s substitute some wood fired
    pizza, eaten around the hearthstone
    in an alpine lodge while the Wailing Jennies
    perform while the crowds nosh –
    maybe the original plans were misunderstood,
    maybe the Author had just taken a big bite
    from a peanut butter sandwich –
    on second thought, let’s just
    scrap the whole thing. The end
    of days doesn’t need a fucking manifesto
    or roadmap or bullet-pointed agenda. Just let it
    come, blow holes through our socks, rattle the window panes,
    and disrupt our scrabble games, playing Johnny Cash songs
    at top volume while lightning and thunder and volcanoes
    erupt like pyrotechnics – I’ll write the grocery list:
    beer, cookies.

     

    John Reinhart is an arsonist, father of three, and a poet. He was the recipient of the 2016 Horror Writers Association Dark Poetry Scholarship, and he has been a Pushcart, Rhysling, and Dwarf Stars award nominee. He is the author of seven poetry collections. Follow him @JReinhartPoet and find more of his work at http://home.hampshire.edu/~jcr00/reinhart.html
  • Vader and Libo

    Vader and Libo

    By Neil Ewing

     

    Neil Ewing lives in Colorado, he makes art, and tries to be funny.

     

  • Memo Regarding the Muses

    Memo Regarding the Muses

    By Nicholai Roscoe

     

    TO: All Employees
    FROM: Management
    RE: Our Acquisition of The Muses

    Thank you all for your assistance in making our recent transition as smooth as possible. We’ve had a hectic year, but our decision to pivot into the acquisition of unorthodox assets has been incredibly fruitful.

    We’d like to give a special thanks to Linda, who’s had a great eye this quarter. Our competitors had assumed a cursed monkey’s paw would be worthless, but Linda was able to turn it over for a tidy profit to a movie studio (who are elated to have it as a plot device). As a reminder, when reviewing potential acquisitions, be sure to do adequate research. As Bradley learned, the difference between a genie and a djinn can be what separates a bountiful purchase from an expensive lawsuit.

    Please keep the chimera leashed until we are able to find it a new mascot position, it’s been drinking all of the LaCroix out of the breakroom fridge.

    As many of you know, the Greek economy is facing a large debt and has been forced into making creative solutions with their resources. Our high bid to the pantheon of gods awarded our company the contracts of the Muses—goddesses of inspiration. Originally it was prudent to have nine Muses, one for each art form at the time. However, just as the Olympics continually updates its sporting events, so too must we modernize our selection of arts with Muses. Tug of war doesn’t have the pull it once did, and neither does epic poetry.

    Starting with the most unpleasant business, some positions will be terminated due to outdated and unprofitable duties, while others will be pivoting in a new direction.

    • Calliope, Erato, and Polyhymnia: Epic poetry, love poetry, and hymns just aren’t producing the blockbuster smash-hits they once did. We wish you luck in your pursuits.
    • Clio, Muse of history, and Urania, Muse of astronomy: Astronomy does not require much creativity and, as the fake news epidemic has shown, history suffers from it. Thank you for your devoted service over the last millenia.
    • Melpomene: Unfortunately your role exposes our company to litigation, so we cannot afford to continue employing a Muse of tragedy. We are confident you will continue to excel on any path you take.
    • Terpsichore, Muse of dance: You were a dutiful worker but we will be going in a different direction to be inclusive of the caucasian demographic. We appreciate your efforts, please pick up your knee-highs from human resources.
    • Euterpe, the musical Muse: We commend you in your willingness to work with artists of all ethnicities, but It seems your talents have been overwhelmingly used to inspire the beautiful. Please assist more ugly people in their pursuit of singing.
    • Our thoughts are with Thalia, Muse of comedy, as she takes a leave of absence to recover from some rather ugly and private matters. The position will remain vacant until her return—there is already an overabundance of Netflix stand-up specials.

    Moving forward, we will be introducing several new Muse appointments, to be posted publicly prior to allowing internal applications. Although the nine daughters of Mnemosyne and Zeus were originally awarded the jobs, nepotism will not be tolerated in the coming round of hiring (looking at you, Bradley). Additionally, due to modern discrimination laws, we can no longer employ exclusively Greek water nymphs. All species and genders, aquatic and otherwise, will be considered.

    OPEN POSITIONS:

    • Muse of dance: In finding a replacement for this position, we are looking for a candidate who can work closely with white communities. We simply can’t afford another Harlem Shake debacle.
    • Muse of vlogging: With the ever-growing reach of video, we need a self-starter who can expand beyond people reacting to things, putting on makeup, or playing computer games.
    • Muse of app design: Instagram and Snapchat have been essential in the consumption of art in the age of technology. We’d love to have a stake in a hit platform.
    • Muse of listicles: Tell us the top five reasons you’re cut out for the job.
    • Muse of memes: We’re seeking an internet-scholar who appreciates Pepe the Frog and Salt Bae like an oil painter appreciates Picasso.

    QUALIFICATIONS:

    • 5000+ years experience in similar god/goddess position required
    • Only polylingual applicants will be considered
    • Must be able to work remotely and speak in a whisper
    • Proficiency with Microsoft Office

    COMPENSATION:

    • Competitive wage
    • Generous 401k package
    • Eternal life

    I hope to see you all at the mandatory meet-and-greet this afternoon at the pools of Mt. Olympus.

    Regards,
    Management

     

    Nicholai Roscoe is a Denver-based standup comedian and freelance writer. His neuroscience degree has afforded him ample student loans and looks nice on the wall. He performs regularly around the country and contributes to the popular satire website The Hard Times.

     

  • 11th and Marion

    11th and Marion

    By Karl Christian Krumpholz

     

    Award-winning cartoonist Karl Christian Krumpholz’s work has appeared in many different publications and even a documentary. He is currently working on two weekly comics: The Denver Bootleg, which examines local musical history for Denver’s Westword, and 30 Miles of Crazy! – the true-ish tales of the various lives in the city. Karl is always looking for a better place to get a drink. His latest comic, An Introduction to Alcohol, compiles a storyline originally featured in 30 Miles of Crazy! and won Best in Show at the 2017 Denver Comic and Arts Expo (DINK). Karl can always be found at karlchristiankrumpholz.com

     

  • America – Ginsberg Tribute

    America – Ginsberg Tribute

    By Eliza Beth Whittington

     

    America, why can’t you sleep?
    Maybe you can call in a favor from the pharmaceutical companies.
    (I’m kidding, of course, you can’t pay those premiums)

    America, when will you end this charade?
    Your dialogue is lame, I could’ve written it in third grade,
    (Except, I went to your public schools)

    America, you’ve got blood on your shirt.
    Is that oil on your boots?
    Are those the same bootstraps we’re supposed to pull ourselves up by?

    America, when are the reparation checks coming?

    America, do you remember signing a treaty?
    How about 250?

    America, there’s a black snake on your belly.
    It looks hungry.

    America, what will you do when Mexico stops sending you produce?
    America, your bread basket is overflowing with inedible corn.
    America, who, I mean what, is the last thing you ate?

    America, I was a patriot as a child and I am ashamed.

    America, I think you actually have selective memory;
    Remember September 11th?
    Of course you do.
    Was the demolition crew
    Muslim too?

    America, a girl was raped in the bathroom of her school yesterday.
    Don’t look so surprised.
    I noticed you were smug
    It wasn’t you this time.

    America, I notice your trees are getting thin,
    Is that age or over-forestation?
    America, don’t act like you discovered yourself.
    A genocide by any other name is still a rose.
    America, stop plagiarizing.

    America, you look really good in those jeans.
    Where did you get them?

    How IS China, by the way?
    Are you two still talking, or just importing.
    (I know how it goes.)

    America, how does your Army grow?

    I got these jeans delivered by drone.
    Obama, I mean, America, what did you deliver by drone?

    America, I don’t think it’s those jeans that make you look fat.

    America, don’t forget to subscribe and comment below.

    America, I’m feeling nauseous. Don’t rush me, I’m going somewhere with this.

    Betsy, I mean America, can I opt-in to a radical re-education?

    America…
    Are you reading my emails again?

    America, it occurs to me I can’t sleep.
    I woke up from your dream
    And I’m talking to myself again.

     

    ElizaBeth Whittington has been in the Denver poetry scene for the past ten years, frequenting open mics and hosting music and poetry events. They currently host a showcase for local musicians and poets at Park Hill Hub. They self-published a chapbook titled “Poetry for People” in 2015 and are currently editing a poetry manuscript. They’ve been featured at Denver Poets Day, The Podeo, and the annual Erotic Poetry Festival. You can find more of their work at: soothseeker88.wordpress.com
  • Book Review: Strange Stars by Jason Heller

    Book Review: Strange Stars by Jason Heller

    By Cory Casciato

     

    Cover by Butcher Billy

     

    A good music book will take you on a guided tour of a new genre, all while being entertaining in its own right. A great music book will do the same thing, only about an area of music you thought you already knew a lot about. Jason Heller’s Strange Stars is a great music book.

    While I’d never call myself an expert, I certainly know a fair bit about science fiction in pop music, as music and science fiction are two of my absolute favorite things. David Bowie, too, for that matter. But Strange Stars made it apparent how little I really knew, particularly about the 70s, where the two collided urgently and frequently.

    Each chapter covers a single year of the 70s (plus one chapter on the end of the 60s and another on the beginning of the 80s), diving deep into the rock, pop, funk, soul and disco that incorporated science fiction tropes. Heller also delivers a solid amount of context for the music, touching on everything from the novels to the technology that was coming out alongside the tunes.

    Despite Heller’s lively and imaginative musical descriptions, the book is best enjoyed with easy access to Spotify and YouTube (for the really obscure cuts). The problem, if you can call it that, is that the writing is engaging enough you won’t necessarily want to tear yourself away from it to hear the music under discussion.

    Erudite without ever being dry or excessive, Heller has wisely chosen to deliver his payload of musical knowledge through a series of overlapping narratives, telling the stories behind the major players of the day. Bowie himself, as the subtitle promises, serves as something of a throughline, offering a point of comparison and contrast as his love affair with science fiction waxes and wanes throughout the decade. It’s not a book about Bowie, precisely, though he gets more space than any other single artist. He’s simply an anchor to the larger story of spaceships, time machines and aliens of the pop world. That’s the real story here, and Heller tells it with depth and nuance, offering a sparkling portrait of the point where pop music left the planet and was changed forever.

     

    Cory Casciato is a Denver-based writer with a passion for the geeky—from old science fiction movies to brand-new video games. His work has appeared in The AV Club, Colorado Public Radio, Westword and many other places. He really likes zombies.
  • Meow Wolf x Suspect Press Exquisite Corpse

    Meow Wolf x Suspect Press Exquisite Corpse

     

     

     

    Meow Wolf is a Santa Fe, New Mexico based arts and entertainment group that established in 2008 as an art collective. The company is composed of nearly 200 artists across all disciplines including architecture, sculpture, painting, photography and video production, virtual and augmented reality, music and audio engineering, narrative writing, costuming and performance, and more. Basically everything. Meow Wolf is in the process of expanding to other cities, including Denver as their next stop.